I've already mentioned Not Neutral on this blog before. (Their pillows are freakin awesome. Yes! I said pillows!)
Check out their wall decals, too. Easy to put up. Environmentally friendly. (Re-use! Re-use!) And if your kids are anything like mine, they'll love them. In the words of my daughter, "night night butterflies."
Changing pads are one of those nice-to-have items that, seriously, sometimes I do without because there you are packing up (are you not forever packing, and unpacking, and re-packing and de-packing?) everything for your outing and then it's like, wait a second, hold your horses people, I need a bigger bag for the FREAKING TWO HUNDRED POUND changing pad.
Change them on the floor no more. Check out this awesome changing pad (did I just put the words awesome and changing pad directly next to each other on purpose?) from Baby Burrito. Small. Compact. Functional. Cute, even.
Seriously, the baby stage is complete bliss compared to toddlerhood. OK that is not entirely true. But when your kid develops a mind of their own they will not, under any circumstances, let you forget it. What's that, mom? Don't touch that? Well take a close sweet look because hey, are you paying attention, I am going to touch it. In fact, you can pretty much bank on the fact that I am going to touch it today, tomorrow, and every day and the more times you tell me not to touch it the more I will continue to touch. Touch. Touch. Boom-shacka-lacka-lacka-touch-touch-touch! I am sorry, did you say something? I cannot seem to hear you because I AM HAVING SO MUCH FUN TOUCHING THIS FORBIDDEN ITEM!
I mean, it's a joke, right?
Love and Logic Magic for Early Childhood: Practical Parenting from Birth to Six Years is a great place to start to reclaim the mind you lost while you were trying to reason with your toddler about why she could not wear her porcupine costume to bed. (And you think I am joking.)
Terrible title. Terrible cover. Yet the stuff inside is actually quite good. However, I do strongly disagree with some of the specific examples (I think there is a story in there where they tell an eight-month-old that "dinner is over" and put him directly in the crib. Um, hello, a little harsh?) But, the basic philosophy is genius:
1. ALWAYS give lots of choices, all of which you approve. (Especially at bedtime.) Shall we do the worm or the electric slide before your bath? Do you want me to put you in the crib or go-go-gadget-arm-catapult you in there? (These are my actual options. Do you think my kids think I am normal?) I learned from teaching middle school that kids love to feel in control and when they are offered choices the majority of the time, they don't freak out as much when they lose control.
2. When your kid does something you do not like, react immediately with empathy, and then with a consequence. (You have probably also learned that yelling, reasoning, explaining, commanding, coercing, are not very good at teaching children, but are very effective ways of driving you completely insane.)
For example. Marina throws her doll at her brother. Me: Uh oh, that stinks. Bye bye doll. The doll is removed, she is mad (I never said this was fun) and we move on. BUT IT WORKS.
Marina says: Milk, mama? Me: Sure! Her three seconds later: GIVE ME MY MILK, WOMAN!!! I waaaaaaant my milk nooooooooooooooooooow!!! Me: Uh oh, that really stinks. Bye bye milk.
I like this philosophy for four reasons:
1) It works.
2) It doesn't require any yelling, punishment, annoying reminding or cajoling.
3) It teaches kids to think before they act.
4) People learn from consequences. (If your neighbor towed your car would you block their driveway again?)
Case in point: Marina lifts up the metal shovel, contemplating how best to dig it into Taylor's head. We make eye contact as I say "uh oh." She puts in down and gives him a maybe not so genuine, but definitely over-my-freakin-dead-body-will-you-take-this-shovel-away-from-me hug and a sweet sisterly kiss.
It works.
Did you ever have a friend who was like a baby whisperer? Um, that person was NOT ME. (I was the kid who babysat once and was on the phone with my parents in five minutes asking if, well, I was just curious, would it be rude if I called Mr. and Mrs. Thompson and told them I had strep throat?) Well, I do have a friend like that and her name is Dixie Hauth.
Why do you care? You care because Dixie has launched a newborn consulting business to help exhausted, frustrated, and seriously-I'm-getting-desperate parents just like you. Dixie is one of those peeps who literally has a sixth sense (no, she doesn't see dead people) when it comes to babies. She is a doula trained by Natural Resources in San Francisco who has years of experience working with newborns and families. Her personalized approach is nothing short of genius. This newborn specialist and mother of two will teach you how to get your little one on a thank-you-for-making-this-just-for-me routine in no time at all. (Even get you your sanity back, too.)
In a nutshell, Dixie has tremendous experience helping mothers with all the challenges that come with a newborn baby.
If you live in San Francisco, she will do an in-home sleep consultation for $500. BUT. Her expertise is not limited just to the locals. For just $150, she will do phone consultations for the first six weeks. (Read: You can program her in your speed dial, compulsively call her with every question, and she will actually take your calls! Answer your questions, even!) She will teach you everything you need to know: swadding, sleep schedule, daily routine, and more. If you do the math this is an absurdly, over-the-top, incredibly good deal.
Are you getting the picture here? You can call an expert, a real expert, one who is not your mother and will not tell you how to implement the parenting practices that so brilliantly made you who you are thirty-five years ago. (I'm sorry, was it just my family that did that?) If you think I am a little nuts (understandable) and don't believe me, check out yesterday's Daily Candy feature on Dixie's business.
If you have a new baby, you need to get in touch with Dixie. You'll be glad you did. (You'll also be rested, relaxed, and what is the other word I am looking for, oh yeah, SANE.)
Buying gifts for kids is ridiculous. Isn't it? Hey, Hunter, here is another book you will throw in a pile and never read, a shirt that will be too small in forty-five seconds, or a toy that was maybe fun for ten minutes for a kid half the age that you are now. Go nuts!
My gifts will never be unoriginal again. My kid gifts, at least. My adult gifts, however, will still be purchased from Amazon about twenty-four hours before the occasion of note. (While the computer is freezing due to my spastic pressing of the "Buy Now" button while mumbling: Eek! Why do I continue to do everything at the LAST. POSSIBLE. SECOND.)
The people who created Uncrate (a site for cool but oftentimes very expensive gadgets and gear for the men in your life) just launched an interesting web magazine of kids products called Playgrounder.
Let's be clear: some of the things on this site are off-the-charts-expensive and completely ludicrous. Excuse me, but who buys a $600 toy Mercedes for their kid unless they have completely LOST THEIR FREAKING MIND? (If this person is you, I want you to call me because I have a list of, let me count, one, two, three, FOUR MILLION things that money would be better spent on.) But. . . BUT. There are some very cool and even inexpensive finds on this site of ridiculousness-slash-awesomeness for tots, and I am certain there will be more to come. (They just launched last week.)
For example, who doesn't eat lunch with just a teeny bit more enthusiasm when their PB&J is shaped like a dinosour? (I am seriously buying one of these for myself and never eating a non-dinosour sandwich again.) And would you not be the coolest mom, dad, aunt, uncle or random person on the planet if you bought this Yo Gabba Gabba DJ Lance Hat for a kid in your life? (Shh! Also buying it for myself and not ashamed because it is just plain awesome. Is it not?) There is some semi-practical stuff on there as well: Baby footprint maker. Cool wall art. Mary Jane Shoes.
The next time I go out, I am going to pull out the Yo Gabba Gabba DJ Lance Hat (It's just fun to say, isn't it? Go ahead. You know you want to.) for my two-year-old and I can guarantee you she will not shed a tear as I make a mad dash for the door.
It just might be the best twenty-five bucks I ever spent.
Babies sleep through the night at some point. For me the big question was: Um, hey guys, I was just wondering, WHEN WILL THAT POINT BE? Could someone tell me if it will be in eight weeks or eight months or will it be never because I will forever for the rest of my life be a zombie who stops indefinitely at stop signs, and not at all at stop lights, because I have not slept more than three hours in a row in, oh not that I've been counting, four months, two days, fifteen hours and thirty-seven seconds? Thirty-eight. Thirty-nine. SOMEONE STOP ME!
First thing you need to know: It would be extremely, unusually, incredibly unlikely that your baby will sleep through the night consistently on his own sometime during the first three months. (If yours does you should keep this information to yourself if you want to have any friends.) You may get the occasional full night of sleep. (Let's be clear: For them!) This eight hour stretch is one hundred percent for them because you will be in the nursery with one hand under the nostrils and the other checking for a pulse and, whoops, yep, she is alive and also AWAKE AND PISSED OFF!
Second thing you need to know: Even though you won't likely be looking at many zzz's until the fourth month at the earliest, there are many things you can do to improve your baby's sleep in those initial months. Here are the things that worked for me.
Getting Baby to Sleep (Months One - Three):
1. Give the baby full feedings during the day. Newborns like to snack for five minutes, but they will take a full feeding if you keep them awake. Tickle their feet. Put a cool washcloth on their forehead. Change their diaper or their clothes. This takes a lot of work but it is worth it!
2. Try to go two-and-a-half to three hours between feedings so they are hungry and take a full feeding. If they take in enough ounces during the day, they are less likely to wake at night.
3. Put them to bed with the Double Swaddle. (This is was a serious sleep enhancer for me.)
4. Follow a bedtime routine that includes: bath, feeding, double swaddle, loud white noise. (Don't make this harder than it needs to be. Only needs to take 15-20 minutes.)
4. Make sure baby is warm and comfortable. I used an extra pair of socks, a Vornado heater to keep the room at 68 degrees (Fans can apparently reduce SIDS by 72%) and mattress pad to make the crib a little softer.
5. Don't run in when the baby wakes up. (I know this is impossible. But if you can wait a second, sometimes they really do go back to sleep.)
Here was my evening routine for the first 8 weeks. (Weeks 8-12 were the same but the babies gradually started going to bed earlier. Asleep by 7:30 or 8pm around 8 weeks and older.)
6:30/7pm - feeding
7-9pm - fussiness extraordinaire, some snoozing but mostly fussing
9:15pm - bath, music, books, PJs
9:30pm - feeding, put in double swaddle, turn on loud white noise (it should be loud enough so you can hear it outside the room), and leave them to see if they will sleep. if no sleep, feed some more and try again, repeat until they are zonked.
10pm asleep
One of the things I filed in the "completely insane things I asked the pediatrician" folder was the question: Are infant car seats safe?
Well, it turns out I was on to something.
It seems obvious and is probably just one of those I'll-assume-someone-knows-more-than-me conclusions we often draw. But have you ever seen a newborn asleep in one of those contraptions? It looks like there is no possible way they could be actually receiving oxygen.
According to CNN and a variety of other sources, a new study from the Journal of Pediatrics reports that infant car seats can compress the chest wall and reduce airway size, which can result in lower oxygen levels in the blood. It is now recommended that parents use car seats for travel only and NOT for sleeping, which so many of us have done like it was our job.
Man. That throws a wrench in the whole parenting bliss that is my baby will sleep anywhere in the car seat, don't touch the zonked wee one in the car seat, I will carry my sleeping baby in that car seat until he is 20! What's next? The sling? (Well, it's not exactly alignment-friendly.) If you are a new parent I am sorry. I am truly VERY SORRY. Both of my kids logged hundreds of hours of blissful zzz's in that thing.
My suggestions?
1. Use the car seat only for for travel.
2. Use a baby carrier for non-travel or awake time. (I like the new Ergo Sport.)
3. Use the double swaddle for sleeping in the crib. (No exaggeration: THIS SAVED MY SANITY!) Gave everyone an extra three hours of sleep per night.
Oh, and ear plugs for the parent who is not on duty. (If you are still nursing or have no help, then you are totally entitled to yell YEAH RIGHT CRAZY BLOG LADY and throw the closest available item at your monitor.)
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